On trusted, as it is in the margin. This is preferable. The apostle is referring to an act of confidence rather than of belief, and which was expressed by his intrusting the Saviour with a deposit, or committing his soul into his hands.
The knowledge of which he speaks is not only or principally the knowledge he had of the Lord Jesus before he believed on him. He had indeed such a knowledge, and he must have had, for how can we believe on him of whom we have not heard? And who would commit a Jewel to a stranger? Who would walk over a deep abyss without inquiring whether the plank was sound or rotten ? Ignorance in such a case would render confidence the act of a fool, whereas faith in Christ is wisdom; and when a man commits his eternal all to him, he has the highest reason in the world for so doing. This previous knowledge, however, is derived entirely from testimony.
But there is also a subsequent knowledge derived from experience, and he that believeth hath the witness in himself. He knows the bitterness of gall, and the sweetness of honey, not from report, but from taste. My conscience, says he, was burdened, and I found no relief till I applied to the blood of sprinkling. Without Him, I can do nothing ; but I know that his grace is sufficient for me, for I have made the trial of it, both in duty and in distress. I have read and heard much of his excellency, and I have put it to the proof. He is now a tried friend and benefactor. I have tried much and often his power, faithfulness, and care, and have found then trustworthy. I therefore feel satisfaction in reviewing what I have done. I have often been imposed upon, often played the fool, but not here. Of many things I have repented, but the longer I live, the less am I disposed to repent of this transaction. I have examined it in the retirement of the closet, in the light of Scripture, in the view of death and eternity, and the more I consider it. the more I approve and glory in the deed. And I will recommend the same to others---and I can speak with the boldness and earnestness of conviction, for I know whom I have believed.
And here we see the value of this knowledge. It increases reliance and confidence. Hence says David, "They that know thy name will put their trust in thee ;" that is, they will trust with more ease and more firmness. Whence arise many of the doubts and fears of Christians, but from their living more upon their frames and feelings than upon the clear and full views of the truth as it is in Jesus? As soon as ever you have committed a valuable treasure to any one, you become alive to his character ; and unless you are well acquainted with it, every surmising, every loose report, every dark and unexplained circumstance may trouble and terrify the heart, even though the deposit may be secure ; for, though the safety of the deposit depends on the goodness of his character, your satisfaction depends upon your knowledge of it.
Let me, therefore, be concerned to grow in grace, and also---and for this very purpose---in the knowledge of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Let me search the Scriptures, for they are they that testify of him. Let me attend his house, and the preaching of his word. Let me converse much with those who have been much with him. Let me earnestly implore the influence of the Holy Spirit, who, says the Saviour, shall glorify me, for he shall take of mine, and shall show it unto you. Paul, after such a length of acquaintance, and such a depth of intimacy, not only said, "I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord," but " that I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death."
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